My initial reaction as I read was that it was very well-written fan fiction. Which it essentially is.
I started to get sucked in toward the middle and then... well, I vacillated between enjoying the plot (and trying to keep up with it) and being turned off because the characters seemed flat.
There were a few conversations that can only be described as "sappy" and some overlap with "out of character" and there was at least one instance of modern comedic one-liner-and-close-the-scene dialogue which was very out of the style of the original.
If this had been a stand-alone story with other characters and one not aligned with such a beloved icon of literature, I'd say it was pretty good. As an attempt at an addition to the original canon, I say.
But, as always, you need to read it to decide for yourself!